► Exi§tenti▲l

Tangled you stumble

How are you able to survive the life you have been given

When your heart hangs from a string.

Tangled around your feet you stumble.

But you seem so very humble.

What has caused the passion for the pain around you?

Let me fill that dark void with the stars from my sky.

Maybe the light will guide you and illuminate 
the hanging arteries in your chest.

This is where you heart lie,

And here is the piece of you I find.

HIM AND HER

He loved, she loved what she never had.

Let me tell you a story.

Paint your own picture as you will

view this story as you see fit.

I just hope this makes someone feel.

header

(Him) It is not simply enough for you to be there for me, I need you to love me too.

(Her) …

(Him) You’re used to running so much that once something is right in front of you, you don’t notice it. because you think it is going to hurt you like everything else has in life. You do not let enough time pass with something new to know if it will or if it will not. It is not simply getting into a relationship with someone and then leaving because you think things are not working or are not going to be how you imagined. How do you know they will not be the way you have imagined? The possibility does not even exist when you give up on something so soon.

(Her) …

(Him) All my life I have been the one to pour out everything into relationships showing my utmost loyalty and respect, trying to be what I can be and do what I can do to keep the one I admire in my life. But in the end, someone always walks away. And I always have the same question of why. Why is that the ones we love and want to be with end up leaving, and never coming back around? All I ask is that you stay, and we can both work through this and be each other’s strength. A strength I Have not experienced. I have always been afraid to say this or say what is on my mind. But then I met you, no fear in my mind or heart about you. So, I have built this courage to say what I have always wanted to say to someone, maybe it is not courage. maybe it is the fact that you are the person I am to be with, and me saying all of this finally makes sense. Because if I would have said this to someone else I would not have met you, I would have never found this courage to speak my hearts mind.

 

*Girl runs back to him hugging him, she is crying and he is in shock that it worked. *

*Girl lets go of him, looks into his eyes, and turns around to walk away. *

*He stands frozen in time, not able to grab for her hand as she walks away. *

(him) All I wanted to do was to grab her hand and not let her go, but as soon as she turned her back she took my courage with her.

(her) He was broken and hurt, understanding and respectful, but I could never bring myself to introduce him into the hell I live in, he does not deserve that. And I would never want to hurt him years down the road.

(Someone else) But he was willing to understand and wanting to understand you, he was the first person that listened to you and cared for the smallest aspects of your life.

(her) yes

(someone else) so you just left when you felt your heart beat for him, knowing he was everything you wanted

(her) *thoughtful look, as she carries on with her hobby that he had supported.  *

*knock*

You use to answer the door within 10 seconds of me knocking. You answered with excitment, a gorgeous smile, and a kiss.

Now it takes you 3 minutes to walk across your 500 sqft appartment, and greet me. By the time the door is opened your back is turned heading the opposite direction.

This is when I noticed I was no longer part of your life.

– The Loyal One

Substance☆

​The sayings that slip my lips are released with minimal formulation, tossing me into a whirlwind of confussion and frustration.
As I said a phrase I did not understand the power it had held till hours later.

My words are not simply words that affect me. But they are words that formulate conclusions upon my head by others around.

I always ran when conclusion about who I am had become relevant. But what I didn’t recognize was the conclusion of my personality, designed by my words placed into someone else’s mind.

A mind with more clarity and substance than that of a fog ridden intolerable mess. What seems clear to me and makes sense in my mind. Is utter chaos in the one I have drug down with me?

Reset

Please connect iPhone to iTunes
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>Please choose a date you'd like to restore from.<

-----November 1, 2014 6:34 PM Western time-----
-----March 15, 2016 9:47 PM Mountain time-----*****Reset*****

November 1st 6:34pm —- 7 minutes before I met you. How do I remember this? Because I was sitting on the beach in Santa Monica with some friends watching the sun set, waiting for you.

March 15th 9:47pm —- This is the moment you asked if you could go to LA for a week, to visit a family you use to work with.

In November little did I know I would fall madly in love with you.

In March little did I know you would fly away to visit a foster family that had held a special place in your heart, and a guy from your past.

If I could go back, what date would I chose to reset? November a day where I could just walk away. Or March the day I could have said no, I have something planned for us this week.

Instead I will let it play out, I knew you had been wanting to see the foster family you had worked with, so I will slip the engagement ring back in to my pocket, and wait for your return. . .

-*-*-*-*November 5th, 2016. 9:01PM-*-*-*-*
Folded blue jeans that hold a secret, a secret never found.

*

■SINCEREST ■

All I want, is to talk with you. talk with you before the earth tilts and reveals the lumanince of the sun. And long after the sky becomes littered with cosmic glitter.

All I want, is you to rememeber my name. the name that would so delicately roll off your lips.

All I want, is for us to talk like we use to. long letters, handwritten passion, the detailed explanation of a dreamy composition. 

All I want, is to kiss your cold lips and catch the breath as it evacuates your lungs.

All I want, is to hold your hands, and pray with you. To only pray that I may have you in my life once more. 

Something has consumed my mind with the thought of you. I cannot seem to cleanse any mental image without your name appearing. 

I am not sure what this means. But I will continue to pray for your and your boyfriend. a prayer of peace, comfort, growth, and love.

With my sincerest thoughts I will maintain the attitude of keeping my distance and respect the reality of the “I want mentality.” For I respect relationships and do not see to destroy what is loved.

Longing for something I want. . .

Signed the Sincerest.

Perception

The hot glowing ash from my cigarette caught the hand of the wind and was guided into my eye.

 Street lights melting into my perception, the bass from my music had been silenced, silenced by the chaos of the wind.

 As the wind screamed by my ears I could not hear anything around me.

The wind whispers something among the chaos.

 “Silence is the key, pride is the letdown, being humble is the joy.”

Then I quickly noticed the wind was not screaming, but instead it was silencing my insecurities, and hiding my fears from my heart.