Tall Tales

Darling,  

You did what I warned you of 

You buried yourself in my mind 

You spread your ashes over my heart 

 

You think this has caused you to be erased in my mind 

Little untold I will now think of why you did this 

For hundreds of hours on end 

You will consume my mind 

In wonderment of this self-destruction 

You promised would not arise 

 

 

You did as those you had hated in my past.

Sober

The clicking sound my watch is making

Is driving me crazy.

My hands are shaking

And my vision is hazy

This clicking is causing painful anxiety

When will it all end

I cant help but think about my sobriety

Why did I stop drinking and decide it needed to end

I can feel to much

Falling to fast

_MG_1379

My Answer

Excuse me miss
I have tripped over this string
Wrapped around your foot
As I kneel to untangle your feet
I unwrap the tangled mess you are caught in
As I rise to my feet
You smile and walk away
You looked back at me
Silenced in time
That look
Those blue eyes
The way your lips
Formed the words you voiced
The smile that came across your face as you looked at me
You looked down to see this string I was holding
you began to walk away
I did not want to drop this string
That hung from your chest
Excuse me miss…
You forgot this…
I stop in my track and noticed it is more than a string
What ever it is, it is covered in hardened concrete and dirt
It is a piece of her she does not want near
As the sunlight catches this clump
I notice a glistening red piece of glass below the layers
Trying to uncover what I have found
A gentle tug to the string was found
I look ahead and see you looking back at me
I begin to follow you
I try to see your dreams
The more I follow the more the fog rolls in
I am trying to uncover what is in my hands
I am trying to watch you walk
Because the way I see you walk
Is mesmerizing,
You know exactly where you want to go
But have no idea how to get to where it is
You need to go
I have caught your eye once more
Standing by your side
You look over a cliff into the oceans
The ocean was a magnificent blue
Only to be the same color as your eyes
I had slipped off the edge of this cliff
Stumbling through the air into the blue
I clutch the string attached trinket in my hand
I kept falling but never hit the water
Never hit the rocks
Suspended in time
I focus on all that is around me
I can see your story written in the stream of rain
Falling by my face
As I am suspended in this fog
I notice you holding my hand
And laying right beside me
One hand holding me
The other hand strung across my chest
Your head tucked into my shoulder
You create an unspeakable peace in my heart
The falling sensation has grown
In my heart
Am I falling or has the world lost the concept of time?
This is where my clarity came in
As you untangled the string in my hand
And took the trinket covered in hardened concrete
I notice the bullets falling from the center of this trinket
I catch one seeing a name etched into the projectile
I cannot make it out
for it bares to many scratches and marks
Gold plated and beautiful
I cannot seem to uncover this mystery
You unwrap this mystery with ease
I see a glimpse of the red glass that had captured the sunshine
You try to hide it in your hand as you slip it into your pocket
No words just silence
As I stare into you
I have so many questions in my mind
As I lie suspended with you in this fog
With streams of rain writing a story
I see the scars on your hip….
They fascinate me
They draw me in and make me want to
Know more
The darkness in your eyes screams for me
To hold you close
The blood that drips down your hands
Catch my eye
Trembling at the sound of a heart beat
I want to pull you in
As I saw all your pain
I felt something stirring in my heart
I felt something being created
I wish I could share this feeling
Or formulate a conclusive sentence of what it all means
As the fog rolls away
I can see patches of sky
I can see what is around me
Gently set me down
In the fog ridden field
I begin to see
My skies became darker
As I gave her my stars
But all I knew was
She was lighting up my night
She was brighter than my stars
She illuminated my nights
Seeing your bullet filled heart
I want to share
The pain I have felt
In hopes you would never feel alone
I want to tell you the parts of my heart
No one has known
I want to show you the
Lacerations of love gone bad
I want you to see
The scars of lost time
And the emotions of an uncontrollable mind
Your darkness is filled with color
And the shimmering tears on your cheek
Allure my heart
Even the darkest nights
Have the brightest lights
As we fell into the field
Under her night sky she rolled over and looked into my eyes
The deep blues that would look at me
Held so much pain
But every time I caught her gaze
My chest became tight
As if chains had stricken me
Frozen lungs and longing looks
The way I see her
is a way no one has seen her before
The grave of pain on her hip
Was the most beautiful tombstone
I had ever seen
I would not have her any other way
Running my hands across her scars
I cannot stop
I just want to lie here all night with you
Darling let me hold you close
Let me kiss the marks
That had at one point traced your body
Let me place an aptitude of love upon your scars
Let’s play roulette with a book of poems
And see what it tells us
Let’s entrust our lives to sayings of words
That have covered our bodies
Pain in your hands
Pain in your mind
Oh, darling I assure you this will all
Fade in time
Don’t let go of me
Don’t leave me behind
I want to bring you through the ashes of demise
I just want to be by your side
I have walked this path
And it is all familiar
I know I cannot save you from this fall
But I know I can be there when you call
Your deep and powerful mind
Has me lost in time
I cannot seem to comprehend what I have found
All I know is you’re a mystery worth solving
No matter the time

Cupid

What was hidden has been found.

I know you will have questions while you read this, well let me tell you, I will answer them as I go.

 She had blues eyes, enjoyed the company of flowers, admired the thought of a heart felt romance.

                                                                She wore a tattered smile in her eyes.

She carried roses on her hip

                                                                She found bullet holes in her heart.

Her fingers dripped with blood.

But What if I said.

Her deep blue eyes held so much pain she could only smile.

The roses on her hip. Marked a grave filled with pain.

The bullet holes are from cupid who traded his bow and arrows for a gun that day.

Her fingers only dripped with blood because she finally found where her pain was coming from.

Her mind overfilled with substance.

All she could do was take on your pain and be strong for you.

You never saw the substance of invisible tears falling down her face.

She never let you see her mind, she only let you see what she wanted you to see.

All you ever saw was a blue eyed blond-haired beauty sitting in front of you.

But something in my heart tells me that you did not even see that.

Her mind was hidden from all to see, because the thoughts that ruled her mind became the darkness she desired.

Her brain was her charm, it had you fooled with that gorgeous smile. But did you ever look into her eyes when she smiled?

It is as if a canvas was being pulled tight against a frame waiting for an artist to paint a masterpiece.

This canvas was stretched one to many times, and when she smiled you could see a corner of what is hidden in her mind.

All the pain pushing against a gorgeous canvas in her eyes.

Did you ever see the grave of her pain, covered in roses.

The roses only decorated the life she found in the pain she had walked through.

Gently run your hands down her hips and you will feel more life in the lines that pulled her skin than you ever will in this world.

This world is a funny place, it lacks a certain amount of pain.

Because she knows pain so she collects the pain of the lonely and takes it on as her own.

Because she never wants to see anyone walk alone.

Her fingers only drip with blood because cupid decided to use something more powerful than an arrow.

Hoping it would only but intensify the meaning of love in the heart of a lover.

Cupid did not miss, he got her right where he wanted her  .

Her heart filled with bullet holes she bled, but she never knew what it was.

Her hand mended your heart and guide your walk.

As blood dripped from her fingers she never paid it much attention.

She gave it all to say the least.

Little did you not know she never believed in cupid.

She had seen to much broken love in her short life.

But she believed in you.

One day she awoke and felt something missing.

Something was hurting and not right.

She felt a call to the void.

As she reached for her chest, her hand felt a gapping hole.

One where her heart use to rest.

Little did she know Cupid was real and he was nothing but a thief with pleasant memories.

She found a little piece of her heart

A piece you left hanging on her rib cage as you so carelessly ripped it out.

She wanted this small heart as far from her as possible.

She took a string and tied it to her wrist, and let it dangle on the thread.

She was already use to her heart hanging by a thread so why not do what is comfortable.

Drug through the dirt, and mud she forgot she had placed it so far.

One night she met a man who wanted to see her heart so bad,

He reached for her chest to see what he could find.

To his demise his hand was searching in an empty space.

He looks up at her with tears in his eyes

A smile in her eyes, she could not feel he was searching for something he could not find.

At that moment he saw her pain.

Living life coasting down a hill that had no end.

You had hurt her so properly not even the universe could fill the void she had.

The universe became jealous of the blackness that was laid in her chest.

How could she lack the existence of life and care so deeply for those around?

She was a miracle, a miracle only he could see.

How are you able to survive the life you have been given

When your heart hangs from the string.

Tangled around your feet you stumble.

But you seem so very humble.

What has caused the passion for the pain around you?

Let me fill that dark void with the stars from my sky.

Maybe the light will guide you and illuminate the hanging arteries in your chest.

This is where you heart lie,

And here is the piece of you I find.

《Closed off》

To be honest I am a lot more heart broken than I thought.

I opened up more than I thought.

I dreamed a lot more than I though.

I truly felt A LOT more than I thought.

We were never together,

But now we are both alone.

-The sincerest

. . .

She was putting stars in my soul

With her tender words

My mind could not withhold

All the emotion I had felt…

-the sincerest

HIM AND HER

He loved, she loved what she never had.

Let me tell you a story.

Paint your own picture as you will

view this story as you see fit.

I just hope this makes someone feel.

header

(Him) It is not simply enough for you to be there for me, I need you to love me too.

(Her) …

(Him) You’re used to running so much that once something is right in front of you, you don’t notice it. because you think it is going to hurt you like everything else has in life. You do not let enough time pass with something new to know if it will or if it will not. It is not simply getting into a relationship with someone and then leaving because you think things are not working or are not going to be how you imagined. How do you know they will not be the way you have imagined? The possibility does not even exist when you give up on something so soon.

(Her) …

(Him) All my life I have been the one to pour out everything into relationships showing my utmost loyalty and respect, trying to be what I can be and do what I can do to keep the one I admire in my life. But in the end, someone always walks away. And I always have the same question of why. Why is that the ones we love and want to be with end up leaving, and never coming back around? All I ask is that you stay, and we can both work through this and be each other’s strength. A strength I Have not experienced. I have always been afraid to say this or say what is on my mind. But then I met you, no fear in my mind or heart about you. So, I have built this courage to say what I have always wanted to say to someone, maybe it is not courage. maybe it is the fact that you are the person I am to be with, and me saying all of this finally makes sense. Because if I would have said this to someone else I would not have met you, I would have never found this courage to speak my hearts mind.

 

*Girl runs back to him hugging him, she is crying and he is in shock that it worked. *

*Girl lets go of him, looks into his eyes, and turns around to walk away. *

*He stands frozen in time, not able to grab for her hand as she walks away. *

(him) All I wanted to do was to grab her hand and not let her go, but as soon as she turned her back she took my courage with her.

(her) He was broken and hurt, understanding and respectful, but I could never bring myself to introduce him into the hell I live in, he does not deserve that. And I would never want to hurt him years down the road.

(Someone else) But he was willing to understand and wanting to understand you, he was the first person that listened to you and cared for the smallest aspects of your life.

(her) yes

(someone else) so you just left when you felt your heart beat for him, knowing he was everything you wanted

(her) *thoughtful look, as she carries on with her hobby that he had supported.  *

Reset

Please connect iPhone to iTunes
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>Please choose a date you'd like to restore from.<

-----November 1, 2014 6:34 PM Western time-----
-----March 15, 2016 9:47 PM Mountain time-----*****Reset*****

November 1st 6:34pm —- 7 minutes before I met you. How do I remember this? Because I was sitting on the beach in Santa Monica with some friends watching the sun set, waiting for you.

March 15th 9:47pm —- This is the moment you asked if you could go to LA for a week, to visit a family you use to work with.

In November little did I know I would fall madly in love with you.

In March little did I know you would fly away to visit a foster family that had held a special place in your heart, and a guy from your past.

If I could go back, what date would I chose to reset? November a day where I could just walk away. Or March the day I could have said no, I have something planned for us this week.

Instead I will let it play out, I knew you had been wanting to see the foster family you had worked with, so I will slip the engagement ring back in to my pocket, and wait for your return. . .

-*-*-*-*November 5th, 2016. 9:01PM-*-*-*-*
Folded blue jeans that hold a secret, a secret never found.

*

dis·am·big·u·ate

This word is just as confusing as the meaning it self, scratch that. . . This word is just as confusing as my past interpretation of love.

I have recently found out some things about my past relationship I did not want to know. Things I have had to come to reality and conclusions with. If I let the battle of heart and mind taint my blood anymore it would surely cause septic shock leading to the demise of my heart. I felt something today, something I never felt from this person I once called ‘the love of my life’.

A stranger has stumbled into my life and has shown me more sincerity than that of which was expressed by you. Someone I barely know, someone who knows my full name, and where I work. That is all this person knows about me.

Today she gently rested her hand on my face just looking into my eyes. her deep blue eyes had been filled with peace. The feeling and trembling fear that was brought to me was something I can not explain. It was a feeling that my mind had fabricated but never felt. Not even in the slightest of ways in my toxic relationship.  It was not a feeling of fear as we know it, if anything all fear was gone. It was as if the gentle hand with purple nail polish was delivering a gift of compassion into my life. Compassion of which I have never felt or experienced.

I am not ready for a relationship for I am still terrified of people wanting to get close, but this small meaningless touch on her end was perfect.

All I know about this girl is her full name, where she works, and the sincerity in her heart with a small touch.