Shallows

I swam out to the ocean 
with you by my side
Getting deeper and deeperI did not recognize

you had pulled me back 
back to the shallows

Weight

weight

I am so perplexed by this emotion that fills me
I have no outlet to express it
  

I am so paralyzed by the feelings 

that flood my mind 
but no room to show it 
  

I am so dazed by everything around me 
there is no room for anything else 
  

cluttered heart 
cluttered mind  
  

at one point in time 
I had peace of mind 
  
I was free to fly 
but the weight of my heart keeps me grounded 
  

As the black veil in my mind 
I choose to hide 

what I have always seen 

3 years and counting  

this story has not changed 
  

Ridden with a depth 
that always tunnels deeper 

my mind is consumed 
  

no room....  

  

  

 

Cupid – VIDEO

Cupid

What was hidden has been found.

I know you will have questions while you read this, well let me tell you, I will answer them as I go.

 She had blues eyes, enjoyed the company of flowers, admired the thought of a heart felt romance.

                                                                She wore a tattered smile in her eyes.

She carried roses on her hip

                                                                She found bullet holes in her heart.

Her fingers dripped with blood.

But What if I said.

Her deep blue eyes held so much pain she could only smile.

The roses on her hip. Marked a grave filled with pain.

The bullet holes are from cupid who traded his bow and arrows for a gun that day.

Her fingers only dripped with blood because she finally found where her pain was coming from.

Her mind overfilled with substance.

All she could do was take on your pain and be strong for you.

You never saw the substance of invisible tears falling down her face.

She never let you see her mind, she only let you see what she wanted you to see.

All you ever saw was a blue eyed blond-haired beauty sitting in front of you.

But something in my heart tells me that you did not even see that.

Her mind was hidden from all to see, because the thoughts that ruled her mind became the darkness she desired.

Her brain was her charm, it had you fooled with that gorgeous smile. But did you ever look into her eyes when she smiled?

It is as if a canvas was being pulled tight against a frame waiting for an artist to paint a masterpiece.

This canvas was stretched one to many times, and when she smiled you could see a corner of what is hidden in her mind.

All the pain pushing against a gorgeous canvas in her eyes.

Did you ever see the grave of her pain, covered in roses.

The roses only decorated the life she found in the pain she had walked through.

Gently run your hands down her hips and you will feel more life in the lines that pulled her skin than you ever will in this world.

This world is a funny place, it lacks a certain amount of pain.

Because she knows pain so she collects the pain of the lonely and takes it on as her own.

Because she never wants to see anyone walk alone.

Her fingers only drip with blood because cupid decided to use something more powerful than an arrow.

Hoping it would only but intensify the meaning of love in the heart of a lover.

Cupid did not miss, he got her right where he wanted her  .

Her heart filled with bullet holes she bled, but she never knew what it was.

Her hand mended your heart and guide your walk.

As blood dripped from her fingers she never paid it much attention.

She gave it all to say the least.

Little did you not know she never believed in cupid.

She had seen to much broken love in her short life.

But she believed in you.

One day she awoke and felt something missing.

Something was hurting and not right.

She felt a call to the void.

As she reached for her chest, her hand felt a gapping hole.

One where her heart use to rest.

Little did she know Cupid was real and he was nothing but a thief with pleasant memories.

She found a little piece of her heart

A piece you left hanging on her rib cage as you so carelessly ripped it out.

She wanted this small heart as far from her as possible.

She took a string and tied it to her wrist, and let it dangle on the thread.

She was already use to her heart hanging by a thread so why not do what is comfortable.

Drug through the dirt, and mud she forgot she had placed it so far.

One night she met a man who wanted to see her heart so bad,

He reached for her chest to see what he could find.

To his demise his hand was searching in an empty space.

He looks up at her with tears in his eyes

A smile in her eyes, she could not feel he was searching for something he could not find.

At that moment he saw her pain.

Living life coasting down a hill that had no end.

You had hurt her so properly not even the universe could fill the void she had.

The universe became jealous of the blackness that was laid in her chest.

How could she lack the existence of life and care so deeply for those around?

She was a miracle, a miracle only he could see.

How are you able to survive the life you have been given

When your heart hangs from the string.

Tangled around your feet you stumble.

But you seem so very humble.

What has caused the passion for the pain around you?

Let me fill that dark void with the stars from my sky.

Maybe the light will guide you and illuminate the hanging arteries in your chest.

This is where you heart lie,

And here is the piece of you I find.

Plexi

sliver in your mind

eraseme

. . . All the cracks in your mind 
led to this place. 

I could never see more than the faint 
outline of swaying trees

behind this plexiglass sliver 
in your mind. . .  

                      - The Sincerest

 

Refresh

2143hrs; 8.4657° N, 13.2317° W

Laying on top of a white Land Rover Defender, beneath natures canvas.

This is what has struck my passion for travel and discovery. In this moment I recognize home is not state side. Home to me, is a word that has little to no meaning. My family will always be with me in my heart and soul, but my body will never have a continuous place to lay. For I enjoy exploring and not knowing what is around the corner.

This incredible night is a night I will never forget. Feeling the cool breeze drift across the ocean, and the heat trying to escape the city. It was an interesting feeling when the air clashed above my restless chest. Watching the stars perform a well thought out dance, you could smell a nearby fire in one of the small villages outside the city.

The emotion, smell, sight, and memory will fade but never be forgotten. This memory is what sparked my curiosity. My curiosity for what lies around the next corner, my curiosity for languages I do not understand, cities I do not know and food I probably should not even test my life with. But this all drives me to understand. . .

To the moon and back…

“I love you to the moon and back” is the most painful type of love one can express. Why is that? Because the outer limits of nothingness between us and the moon will test your strengths. The space will consume you and tear your body apart. So therefore I love you to the moon and back. I am willing to be bloated from the mass quantities of nitrogen, and am willing to lose my breath in the absence of oxygen. As all my organs shut down my heart will still beat. I am willing to starve my brain just to show you love. And once I touch down on the moon and am revived, I will spring back to you to complete my journey of Love. To be honest I won’t make it back alive for entering your atmosphere fire will consume me. But at least you know I attempted to show you love.


We love to the moon and back, but always fail. Because we assume enough is never enough.


signed “the over thinker”