Sleep well

Ill stay awake so you can rest

I’ll listen so you can sleep well

 

as the thought of your words marinate in my mind

 

I’ll toss and turn in bed

till I can formulate a solid conclusion of what was said

sunrise birds cry

these words still toss inside

 

—-Sleep well tonight—-

Guide

Be Swift Darling

Be graceful with the intelligence God has given you

be swift with wisdom

and understanding with the passion all bestowed upon your heart

let the path guide you

as you stumble and are weak

let the calling lift you up

let your passion illuminate your joy

let the flame grow in the wind

for a candle can set fire to a field and can only grow with the wind of opposition.

those who have opposed you cause you more growth than those who watch as a passion consumes a heart.

Weight

weight

I am so perplexed by this emotion that fills me
I have no outlet to express it
  

I am so paralyzed by the feelings 

that flood my mind 
but no room to show it 
  

I am so dazed by everything around me 
there is no room for anything else 
  

cluttered heart 
cluttered mind  
  

at one point in time 
I had peace of mind 
  
I was free to fly 
but the weight of my heart keeps me grounded 
  

As the black veil in my mind 
I choose to hide 

what I have always seen 

3 years and counting  

this story has not changed 
  

Ridden with a depth 
that always tunnels deeper 

my mind is consumed 
  

no room....  

  

  

 

Cupid – VIDEO

vent/poem

I cannot sleep and need someone to talk to. (4:22am  March 26th, 2018)

the past 3 months have twisted me so bad, moving challenges, losing family, lost my family dog… But that’s not all.

My mom has stage 4 Breast Cancer and is coming up on 5 years of battling. She told me yesterday, my dad has been diagnosed with Heart Disease and is not doing to well. He had an acute infection that was treated with steroids and caused a cascade of problems including blindness. As the conversation continues, my mom says “I am not sure if I can battle any longer, I am tired, and feel life slipping through my palms.”

I broke.

I cannot lose anything more, for so much has already changed and been lost.

Please excuse my lack of posts, while I battle this battle. If you believe in God, or positive vibes, or just thoughts, please keep my family and my self with you.

 

Sometimes life happens…

People get older…

People pass away…

And we cannot do anything about it…

All we can do is watch it unfold

In front of our delicate eyes.




Watching the strength of family collapse around us.

I get lost in the soot of what has fallen

causing a struggle that has left me gasping for air.

Unable to catch my breath from this constant fast pace change

I have found myself sitting here…

Holding onto what I find dear…

As I let the soot rob my oxygen filled lungs

All my passions and motivations have escaped

my mind with the fleeting oxygen.




Watching everything change

Just as fall changes the leaves of the trees

Winter comes and freezes what we think is gone.

As the frozen ground cracks beneath my feet.

I gaze into the empty forest

Covered in snow and ice.

Looking at the skeleton structure of life.

Tints of blue and fallen trees

Fill my eyes.

As the tears start to fall

All I can hope for is a break in the silence.




I am waiting for spring

In hopes that spring will show me what is new

And will bloom some ease amidst the pain

Plexi

sliver in your mind

eraseme

. . . All the cracks in your mind 
led to this place. 

I could never see more than the faint 
outline of swaying trees

behind this plexiglass sliver 
in your mind. . .  

                      - The Sincerest

 

Refresh

2143hrs; 8.4657° N, 13.2317° W

Laying on top of a white Land Rover Defender, beneath natures canvas.

This is what has struck my passion for travel and discovery. In this moment I recognize home is not state side. Home to me, is a word that has little to no meaning. My family will always be with me in my heart and soul, but my body will never have a continuous place to lay. For I enjoy exploring and not knowing what is around the corner.

This incredible night is a night I will never forget. Feeling the cool breeze drift across the ocean, and the heat trying to escape the city. It was an interesting feeling when the air clashed above my restless chest. Watching the stars perform a well thought out dance, you could smell a nearby fire in one of the small villages outside the city.

The emotion, smell, sight, and memory will fade but never be forgotten. This memory is what sparked my curiosity. My curiosity for what lies around the next corner, my curiosity for languages I do not understand, cities I do not know and food I probably should not even test my life with. But this all drives me to understand. . .

》Runner ¤

I am a runner. known to drop everything and disappear for months at a time, but never abandon those in need. This is not because I am a coward, or irresponsible it’s just who I am. Once I ran away from a dream job in a photography studio and never looked back. That ‘once’ was with a girl who is in my past.

Now I am at square one, discovering who I am. . . Again. . .
I am >
25 years old.
male.
Working corporate America one penny at a time.
Recently Abandon.
New to blogs.
Been around travel all my life.                     [This is all I know]

That’s all you need to know about me. But eventually I will show you some threads that hold me together.

I have been to or driven through all the lower 48. Drink coffee, and no not that Star***ks water. More like my personal home roast, or small coffee shops with clever names.

Lived in West Africa for a good portion of time.
I enjoy photography and cinematography.
And also I have a passion for exploring and getting lost.
A passion is a strong and uncontrollable emotion.

That emotion felt is a feeling that triggers an action. This emotion is what I’ve called running.

Everything is changing, so it is time for me to leave. Recently I had a really terrible breakup that left me in a very unfamiliar physical state, emotional state, and predicament. You can read the last several blogs to gain a grasp. But you will never fully know for I retain secrets and not all is to be shared.

I have recently found my self in my passions again, roasting coffee, photography, traveling. My blog is taking a turn for the good. Yes my heart will still bleed on the pixellated screen, but it will be shown in my journey. My work has oppressed my soul, my past has crushed my spirit. It is time for me to go . . .

*All images are my own, please ask for permission to use*