Sleep well

Ill stay awake so you can rest

I’ll listen so you can sleep well

 

as the thought of your words marinate in my mind

 

I’ll toss and turn in bed

till I can formulate a solid conclusion of what was said

sunrise birds cry

these words still toss inside

 

—-Sleep well tonight—-

Guide

Be Swift Darling

Be graceful with the intelligence God has given you

be swift with wisdom

and understanding with the passion all bestowed upon your heart

let the path guide you

as you stumble and are weak

let the calling lift you up

let your passion illuminate your joy

let the flame grow in the wind

for a candle can set fire to a field and can only grow with the wind of opposition.

those who have opposed you cause you more growth than those who watch as a passion consumes a heart.

Shallows

I swam out to the ocean 
with you by my side
Getting deeper and deeperI did not recognize

you had pulled me back 
back to the shallows

Weight

weight

I am so perplexed by this emotion that fills me
I have no outlet to express it
  

I am so paralyzed by the feelings 

that flood my mind 
but no room to show it 
  

I am so dazed by everything around me 
there is no room for anything else 
  

cluttered heart 
cluttered mind  
  

at one point in time 
I had peace of mind 
  
I was free to fly 
but the weight of my heart keeps me grounded 
  

As the black veil in my mind 
I choose to hide 

what I have always seen 

3 years and counting  

this story has not changed 
  

Ridden with a depth 
that always tunnels deeper 

my mind is consumed 
  

no room....  

  

  

 

Cupid – VIDEO

RAGE•

calm•raging•silent•frozen

lake

I was the water

Calm

Raging

Silent

Frozen

As you walked on this shelf of ice

Below was a depth you would not feel

And a current that could heal

But you did not know

You where walking upon a frozen lake

Cupid

What was hidden has been found.

I know you will have questions while you read this, well let me tell you, I will answer them as I go.

 She had blues eyes, enjoyed the company of flowers, admired the thought of a heart felt romance.

                                                                She wore a tattered smile in her eyes.

She carried roses on her hip

                                                                She found bullet holes in her heart.

Her fingers dripped with blood.

But What if I said.

Her deep blue eyes held so much pain she could only smile.

The roses on her hip. Marked a grave filled with pain.

The bullet holes are from cupid who traded his bow and arrows for a gun that day.

Her fingers only dripped with blood because she finally found where her pain was coming from.

Her mind overfilled with substance.

All she could do was take on your pain and be strong for you.

You never saw the substance of invisible tears falling down her face.

She never let you see her mind, she only let you see what she wanted you to see.

All you ever saw was a blue eyed blond-haired beauty sitting in front of you.

But something in my heart tells me that you did not even see that.

Her mind was hidden from all to see, because the thoughts that ruled her mind became the darkness she desired.

Her brain was her charm, it had you fooled with that gorgeous smile. But did you ever look into her eyes when she smiled?

It is as if a canvas was being pulled tight against a frame waiting for an artist to paint a masterpiece.

This canvas was stretched one to many times, and when she smiled you could see a corner of what is hidden in her mind.

All the pain pushing against a gorgeous canvas in her eyes.

Did you ever see the grave of her pain, covered in roses.

The roses only decorated the life she found in the pain she had walked through.

Gently run your hands down her hips and you will feel more life in the lines that pulled her skin than you ever will in this world.

This world is a funny place, it lacks a certain amount of pain.

Because she knows pain so she collects the pain of the lonely and takes it on as her own.

Because she never wants to see anyone walk alone.

Her fingers only drip with blood because cupid decided to use something more powerful than an arrow.

Hoping it would only but intensify the meaning of love in the heart of a lover.

Cupid did not miss, he got her right where he wanted her  .

Her heart filled with bullet holes she bled, but she never knew what it was.

Her hand mended your heart and guide your walk.

As blood dripped from her fingers she never paid it much attention.

She gave it all to say the least.

Little did you not know she never believed in cupid.

She had seen to much broken love in her short life.

But she believed in you.

One day she awoke and felt something missing.

Something was hurting and not right.

She felt a call to the void.

As she reached for her chest, her hand felt a gapping hole.

One where her heart use to rest.

Little did she know Cupid was real and he was nothing but a thief with pleasant memories.

She found a little piece of her heart

A piece you left hanging on her rib cage as you so carelessly ripped it out.

She wanted this small heart as far from her as possible.

She took a string and tied it to her wrist, and let it dangle on the thread.

She was already use to her heart hanging by a thread so why not do what is comfortable.

Drug through the dirt, and mud she forgot she had placed it so far.

One night she met a man who wanted to see her heart so bad,

He reached for her chest to see what he could find.

To his demise his hand was searching in an empty space.

He looks up at her with tears in his eyes

A smile in her eyes, she could not feel he was searching for something he could not find.

At that moment he saw her pain.

Living life coasting down a hill that had no end.

You had hurt her so properly not even the universe could fill the void she had.

The universe became jealous of the blackness that was laid in her chest.

How could she lack the existence of life and care so deeply for those around?

She was a miracle, a miracle only he could see.

How are you able to survive the life you have been given

When your heart hangs from the string.

Tangled around your feet you stumble.

But you seem so very humble.

What has caused the passion for the pain around you?

Let me fill that dark void with the stars from my sky.

Maybe the light will guide you and illuminate the hanging arteries in your chest.

This is where you heart lie,

And here is the piece of you I find.

► Exi§tenti▲l

Tangled you stumble

How are you able to survive the life you have been given

When your heart hangs from a string.

Tangled around your feet you stumble.

But you seem so very humble.

What has caused the passion for the pain around you?

Let me fill that dark void with the stars from my sky.

Maybe the light will guide you and illuminate 
the hanging arteries in your chest.

This is where you heart lie,

And here is the piece of you I find.

HIM AND HER

He loved, she loved what she never had.

Let me tell you a story.

Paint your own picture as you will

view this story as you see fit.

I just hope this makes someone feel.

header

(Him) It is not simply enough for you to be there for me, I need you to love me too.

(Her) …

(Him) You’re used to running so much that once something is right in front of you, you don’t notice it. because you think it is going to hurt you like everything else has in life. You do not let enough time pass with something new to know if it will or if it will not. It is not simply getting into a relationship with someone and then leaving because you think things are not working or are not going to be how you imagined. How do you know they will not be the way you have imagined? The possibility does not even exist when you give up on something so soon.

(Her) …

(Him) All my life I have been the one to pour out everything into relationships showing my utmost loyalty and respect, trying to be what I can be and do what I can do to keep the one I admire in my life. But in the end, someone always walks away. And I always have the same question of why. Why is that the ones we love and want to be with end up leaving, and never coming back around? All I ask is that you stay, and we can both work through this and be each other’s strength. A strength I Have not experienced. I have always been afraid to say this or say what is on my mind. But then I met you, no fear in my mind or heart about you. So, I have built this courage to say what I have always wanted to say to someone, maybe it is not courage. maybe it is the fact that you are the person I am to be with, and me saying all of this finally makes sense. Because if I would have said this to someone else I would not have met you, I would have never found this courage to speak my hearts mind.

 

*Girl runs back to him hugging him, she is crying and he is in shock that it worked. *

*Girl lets go of him, looks into his eyes, and turns around to walk away. *

*He stands frozen in time, not able to grab for her hand as she walks away. *

(him) All I wanted to do was to grab her hand and not let her go, but as soon as she turned her back she took my courage with her.

(her) He was broken and hurt, understanding and respectful, but I could never bring myself to introduce him into the hell I live in, he does not deserve that. And I would never want to hurt him years down the road.

(Someone else) But he was willing to understand and wanting to understand you, he was the first person that listened to you and cared for the smallest aspects of your life.

(her) yes

(someone else) so you just left when you felt your heart beat for him, knowing he was everything you wanted

(her) *thoughtful look, as she carries on with her hobby that he had supported.  *