Sleep well

Ill stay awake so you can rest

I’ll listen so you can sleep well

 

as the thought of your words marinate in my mind

 

I’ll toss and turn in bed

till I can formulate a solid conclusion of what was said

sunrise birds cry

these words still toss inside

 

—-Sleep well tonight—-

Guide

Be Swift Darling

Be graceful with the intelligence God has given you

be swift with wisdom

and understanding with the passion all bestowed upon your heart

let the path guide you

as you stumble and are weak

let the calling lift you up

let your passion illuminate your joy

let the flame grow in the wind

for a candle can set fire to a field and can only grow with the wind of opposition.

those who have opposed you cause you more growth than those who watch as a passion consumes a heart.

Weight

weight

I am so perplexed by this emotion that fills me
I have no outlet to express it
  

I am so paralyzed by the feelings 

that flood my mind 
but no room to show it 
  

I am so dazed by everything around me 
there is no room for anything else 
  

cluttered heart 
cluttered mind  
  

at one point in time 
I had peace of mind 
  
I was free to fly 
but the weight of my heart keeps me grounded 
  

As the black veil in my mind 
I choose to hide 

what I have always seen 

3 years and counting  

this story has not changed 
  

Ridden with a depth 
that always tunnels deeper 

my mind is consumed 
  

no room....  

  

  

 

Cupid – VIDEO

My Answer

Excuse me miss
I have tripped over this string
Wrapped around your foot
As I kneel to untangle your feet
I unwrap the tangled mess you are caught in
As I rise to my feet
You smile and walk away
You looked back at me
Silenced in time
That look
Those blue eyes
The way your lips
Formed the words you voiced
The smile that came across your face as you looked at me
You looked down to see this string I was holding
you began to walk away
I did not want to drop this string
That hung from your chest
Excuse me miss…
You forgot this…
I stop in my track and noticed it is more than a string
What ever it is, it is covered in hardened concrete and dirt
It is a piece of her she does not want near
As the sunlight catches this clump
I notice a glistening red piece of glass below the layers
Trying to uncover what I have found
A gentle tug to the string was found
I look ahead and see you looking back at me
I begin to follow you
I try to see your dreams
The more I follow the more the fog rolls in
I am trying to uncover what is in my hands
I am trying to watch you walk
Because the way I see you walk
Is mesmerizing,
You know exactly where you want to go
But have no idea how to get to where it is
You need to go
I have caught your eye once more
Standing by your side
You look over a cliff into the oceans
The ocean was a magnificent blue
Only to be the same color as your eyes
I had slipped off the edge of this cliff
Stumbling through the air into the blue
I clutch the string attached trinket in my hand
I kept falling but never hit the water
Never hit the rocks
Suspended in time
I focus on all that is around me
I can see your story written in the stream of rain
Falling by my face
As I am suspended in this fog
I notice you holding my hand
And laying right beside me
One hand holding me
The other hand strung across my chest
Your head tucked into my shoulder
You create an unspeakable peace in my heart
The falling sensation has grown
In my heart
Am I falling or has the world lost the concept of time?
This is where my clarity came in
As you untangled the string in my hand
And took the trinket covered in hardened concrete
I notice the bullets falling from the center of this trinket
I catch one seeing a name etched into the projectile
I cannot make it out
for it bares to many scratches and marks
Gold plated and beautiful
I cannot seem to uncover this mystery
You unwrap this mystery with ease
I see a glimpse of the red glass that had captured the sunshine
You try to hide it in your hand as you slip it into your pocket
No words just silence
As I stare into you
I have so many questions in my mind
As I lie suspended with you in this fog
With streams of rain writing a story
I see the scars on your hip….
They fascinate me
They draw me in and make me want to
Know more
The darkness in your eyes screams for me
To hold you close
The blood that drips down your hands
Catch my eye
Trembling at the sound of a heart beat
I want to pull you in
As I saw all your pain
I felt something stirring in my heart
I felt something being created
I wish I could share this feeling
Or formulate a conclusive sentence of what it all means
As the fog rolls away
I can see patches of sky
I can see what is around me
Gently set me down
In the fog ridden field
I begin to see
My skies became darker
As I gave her my stars
But all I knew was
She was lighting up my night
She was brighter than my stars
She illuminated my nights
Seeing your bullet filled heart
I want to share
The pain I have felt
In hopes you would never feel alone
I want to tell you the parts of my heart
No one has known
I want to show you the
Lacerations of love gone bad
I want you to see
The scars of lost time
And the emotions of an uncontrollable mind
Your darkness is filled with color
And the shimmering tears on your cheek
Allure my heart
Even the darkest nights
Have the brightest lights
As we fell into the field
Under her night sky she rolled over and looked into my eyes
The deep blues that would look at me
Held so much pain
But every time I caught her gaze
My chest became tight
As if chains had stricken me
Frozen lungs and longing looks
The way I see her
is a way no one has seen her before
The grave of pain on her hip
Was the most beautiful tombstone
I had ever seen
I would not have her any other way
Running my hands across her scars
I cannot stop
I just want to lie here all night with you
Darling let me hold you close
Let me kiss the marks
That had at one point traced your body
Let me place an aptitude of love upon your scars
Let’s play roulette with a book of poems
And see what it tells us
Let’s entrust our lives to sayings of words
That have covered our bodies
Pain in your hands
Pain in your mind
Oh, darling I assure you this will all
Fade in time
Don’t let go of me
Don’t leave me behind
I want to bring you through the ashes of demise
I just want to be by your side
I have walked this path
And it is all familiar
I know I cannot save you from this fall
But I know I can be there when you call
Your deep and powerful mind
Has me lost in time
I cannot seem to comprehend what I have found
All I know is you’re a mystery worth solving
No matter the time

► Exi§tenti▲l

Tangled you stumble

How are you able to survive the life you have been given

When your heart hangs from a string.

Tangled around your feet you stumble.

But you seem so very humble.

What has caused the passion for the pain around you?

Let me fill that dark void with the stars from my sky.

Maybe the light will guide you and illuminate 
the hanging arteries in your chest.

This is where you heart lie,

And here is the piece of you I find.

Lucid

“That was her. 

Pure, lucid, evil.

I’d sleep all right with that on top of me.”

-Bertolt Brecht 

Fascination that had found me dumbfounded. To be pure is to be blemish free, to be lucid is to be known, to be evil you must lack the other two qualities. 

I was once told, “I’ll protect you.” I remember being told this by a 110lb girl that stood before me holding my hand. I laughed slightly because I am a 250lb man that has always been the protector. But then quickly I gained composer over my laughing, because this was something no one had ever told me, not even my father. Sure he demonstrated it but never said it.

These powerful words rolled off my lovers lips. Never had I ever seen someone stand up for me like her. She had a way with words that demanded respect in the most polite way, but also cut with fiery to any ropes of affliction attached to me. She would strike my foes down with several well placed words. No one had been that person to protect me. That was an action of love.

“I will always care for you.”  Never utter those words again, because the way you talk to me does not resemble ‘care’ it doesn’t even resemble a friend. You treat me as I am your foe now. I do not udenserstand why, I never cheated, never left you, never abused you, never let you down, never let your tears fall, never let you take on troubles alone. I rescued you. . . so you had once said.

But now you speak to me as if I owe you something.

Just remember I said I’d always be here for you together or not and that is something I ment. You’re the one that is not.

》Runner ¤

I am a runner. known to drop everything and disappear for months at a time, but never abandon those in need. This is not because I am a coward, or irresponsible it’s just who I am. Once I ran away from a dream job in a photography studio and never looked back. That ‘once’ was with a girl who is in my past.

Now I am at square one, discovering who I am. . . Again. . .
I am >
25 years old.
male.
Working corporate America one penny at a time.
Recently Abandon.
New to blogs.
Been around travel all my life.                     [This is all I know]

That’s all you need to know about me. But eventually I will show you some threads that hold me together.

I have been to or driven through all the lower 48. Drink coffee, and no not that Star***ks water. More like my personal home roast, or small coffee shops with clever names.

Lived in West Africa for a good portion of time.
I enjoy photography and cinematography.
And also I have a passion for exploring and getting lost.
A passion is a strong and uncontrollable emotion.

That emotion felt is a feeling that triggers an action. This emotion is what I’ve called running.

Everything is changing, so it is time for me to leave. Recently I had a really terrible breakup that left me in a very unfamiliar physical state, emotional state, and predicament. You can read the last several blogs to gain a grasp. But you will never fully know for I retain secrets and not all is to be shared.

I have recently found my self in my passions again, roasting coffee, photography, traveling. My blog is taking a turn for the good. Yes my heart will still bleed on the pixellated screen, but it will be shown in my journey. My work has oppressed my soul, my past has crushed my spirit. It is time for me to go . . .

*All images are my own, please ask for permission to use*